How to Reduce Bullying With Dr. Beth Halbert, America’s Teenologist! by Nicole DeAvilla

What do you tell your child when they are being bullied? We were thrilled to have Dr. Beth Halbert, aka Dr. Beth, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in "teenage" behavior in children, teens and adults as our #30Seconds Twitter chat guest! Dr. Beth is the author of “Embracing Defiance: Helping Your Child Find Their UNIQUE VOICE While Keeping YOUR SANITY,” which helps parents to understand the benefits of healthy defiance. Dr. Beth shared her expert advice on handling bullying. Read on for her tips...

Q: What do you do if your child is bullied?

Most importantly listen to your child. How do they feel? What are they making it mean? Ask your child why they think the other child might be bullying you? Get curious!!! How can your child turn around what was said? How to not take it personally? What might the bully be saying about him or herself? Give them tools and tips to protect themselves. Create a “911” code if they need your help.

Important for parents that kids feel supported for who they really are, no matter what #30Seconds

— Susan Berland (@SusanBerland) August 24, 2017

Q: What do you do if your child is being accused of being the bully?

Ask your child: How can you turn this around? Ask what help they need from you the parent, administrators. So often the “bully” thinks they are being “bullied” – seek to understand the whole story. Where are they hurting? What do they need from you to feel loved and supported to be exactly as they are? They are telling on themselves. They are in pain!!! Get really curious and totally supportive – listen HARD!!

#30seconds True, believe me never been one of these parents who say "not my child". think there has to be balance of how you view your child

— lorri langmaid (@lorri1956) August 24, 2017

Q: What can I do to prevent my child form becoming a bully?

• Teach your child: First of all, I determine if I’m bullied. Only I can say I’m a victim. I don’t have to believe the meanness. 
• Ask myself as a parent: Is my child feeling heard, understood, supported for who they choose to be. Is it safe to be me? 

They are feeling hurt and scared if they are victimizing other children. Choose relationship over tasks or being right!! Make it safe to talk about anything – not judged, critiqued or one-upped. Find out what’s going on that would cause them to hurt others. They may be feeling afraid of being exactly who they are or they do not like themselves.

Word track is like loading their lips. Giving them the words to practice saying if "blank" happens. #30Seconds

— Dr. Beth Halbert (@DrBethCP) August 24, 2017

A5 I would think make their social media private? I'm not sure #30Seconds

— Sharon (@PinkHippo13) August 24, 2017

Q: How do I prepare my child to deal with online bullying?

One thing is to make sure they understand how they can set themselves up to be attacked online (i.e. naked photos).Only share vulnerability you are willing to be teased about and can handle being shared and talked about with others.

• Ask them if they know what happens if they delete something? Could it still be found? Answer is YES.
• Ask them who owns their photos and words once they have been posted on another’s electronic platform?
• Ask: If someone says something horrible about me the parent, does it make it true? What are my choices in how I can respond? Practice word tracks on how to respond if…

#30seconds Oh man, that is terrible. So sorry she went through that I think stick laws need to be made to deal with these people.

— lorri langmaid (@lorri1956) August 24, 2017

Q: What do I do if bullying is already happening online?

• Lots of options. One is to totally disengage from the platform all together. The crowd will move on.
• Take it off-line in an actual conversation face to face with family members.
• Bring in the authorities to help with and find out the legal options.
• Get emotional support to better understand the situation and different ways to respond internally.

#30Seconds A5 Does blocking people help? I have actually done that myself to people making mean and unkind comments to me

— lorri langmaid (@lorri1956) August 24, 2017

Blocking is a good way to disengage the energy and it can also hurt feelings and cause in school bullying. I would try it first. #30Seconds.

— Dr. Beth Halbert (@DrBethCP) August 24, 2017

Q: What can you and your child do to prevent bullying?

• Focus on the positive with everyone else. Catch other’s doing things you like and love.
• When you are feeling bullied, ask the other person if they feel bullied by you or hurt by you?
• Join the singing “Everybody Loves Me” campaign.
• Start the conversation online, at home, in schools. What a great question for all of us to keep asking.
• What’s the opposite of bullying to you? Do that!!! For me it is choose love no matter what.

That's how I feel. I always tell them to treat others how you would want to be treated. #30seconds

— Wendy Rafferty (@wendykrafferty) August 24, 2017

Q: How can we learn more about you and your work?

Tons of free stuff and my actual Mom’s Choice award-winning book free at DrBeth.com. Connect with me on Facebook, email me DrBeth@DrBeth.com and follow @DrBethCP!