#30Seconds In-Depth: Navigating Kid’s Technology & Screen Time With Parent Coach Sheryl Gould! by Renee

"How much screen time is too much?" "What is the right age to give my child a smartphone?" "How can I keep my child safe and set limits?" These are common questions often asked by parents when it comes to their kids and technology. We were excited to welcome our #30Seconds contributor, Sheryl Gould, as our #30Seconds Twitter chat guest. Sheryl, a parent coach and founder of Moms of Tweens and Teens, answered these questions about parenting in the digital age – and many more! Read on to learn more...

Q: What are some of the common questions and concerns we need to address as parents navigating our tween’s and teen’s use of technology?

• How much screen time is too much?
• How do we set limits and rules around technology?
• How do we know if our kids are ready for a smartphone?
• How do we keep our adolescents safe from the risks and problems of technology?
• How do we have these conversations with our kids?

I think having clear expectations from the beginning is crucial! #30Seconds

— Renee (@HerrenRenee) April 5, 2018

Q: What age should we let our kids get a smartphone?

Base readiness on maturity versus age when thinking about getting your child a smartphone or tablet. Later is safer because smartphones can be addictive distractions that take away from schoolwork and expose children to issues like online bullies, child predators or sexting. Ask yourself if they follow your rules and directions in other areas of life?

And trust. Can you trust them. Would they act the same regardless of person and situation. #30Seconds

— Queen Andriah ❤️ (@peabody_andrea) April 5, 2018

We have two iPads. But don’t charge them. Unless it vacation the batteries are dead. #30Seconds

— dadsAdventuredaycare (@procm2) April 5, 2018

Q: How do we set guidelines?

• Communication is KEY. Discuss some of the risks and problems with using the Internet and smartphones.
• Restrict screen time usage to certain hours.
• Use a cell phone contract to get the conversation started. Get them involved in the discussion and allow them to have input.

I think it is great to create guidelines with your child! This allows them to "buy in" and take ownership of their end of the bargain! #30Seconds

— Renee (@HerrenRenee) April 5, 2018

A3 Bullying and identity theft is a couple of risks. #30Seconds

— Beth DiMauro (@BethDimauro) April 5, 2018

Well Toni - that's a great question! I think you can share that you're hoping your child isn't on their phone too much and that you're good if the parent has them put the phones away. #30Seconds

— momsoftweensandteens (@sheryl_gould) April 5, 2018

Q: How do we keep them safe?

• Use apps and tools to set limits and keep them safe. Here is a list of apps of concern.
• Discuss clear expectations for online behavior: You treat everyone with respect. Don’t engage in name-calling or inappropriate behavior or conversations. This includes photos, videos and comments.
• Keep private! My mantra is if you don’t want your grandmother to know about it, don’t post it on social media. This also means never giving out private information if a stranger could obtain that content.
• Let them know people aren’t always who they say they are. Even someone you meet on social media and chat with for months might be lying about their identity.
• Tell your kids to never give away any personal information or post your location publicly to people you don’t know.
• Have access to their passwords.
• Require permission before they download anything.

YES! When it comes to kids and technology, we have to remember that their world is so different fr ours. They need rules & guidance, but we can't pretend that technology doesn't exist. https://t.co/Qk7bbhIiOm

— AnnMarie G. Halstead (@AMGHalstead) April 5, 2018

This is important! Children are trusting by nature! #30Seconds

— Renee (@HerrenRenee) April 5, 2018

Q: How can we make technology a positive rather than a negative that we’re always fighting against?

It’s much easier to enforce a rule if you’re committed to the same rules. Encourage your family to each set goals around technology. Discuss with them our own struggles with social media and technology and how you want to be present. Encourage open dialogue around technology by asking questions. For example, “What do you like and dislike most about social media?” Encourage face-to-face connection. Have technology-free zones, plan family activities, invite friends over, take time to visit neighbors.

That's great that you're open - it makes it easier. You must be a good listener. That helps. Lecturing and nagging doesn't work - the shut us out. #30Seconds

— momsoftweensandteens (@sheryl_gould) April 5, 2018

Q: How do we protect against cyber-bullying and inappropriate behavior?

It’s seven times more likely with teens that a bully will be a friend, former friend or former dating partner. Let your tween or teen know if someone, even a friend, makes them feel uncomfortable to let you know. Reassure them that you won’t make any decisions about it without their input. Help them understand the importance of not sharing any nude or suggestive photos with anyone, even if they know and trust them. These photos can get stolen, shared or posted publicly.

Pay attention to changes in behavior. A teen who is normally happy and upbeat, but who is suddenly down and depressed, may be a victim of bullying. Pay particular attention any time your child is in the middle of a new romantic relationship or if they break up with a current boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s never too late. Even if your kids are older, they will benefit from an ongoing conversation with you about Internet use and safety.

@DabneyPorte always referred to this as a “Digital Imprint” - each social media person has one - How do your posts reflect YOU and how you want to be remembered? #30Seconds https://t.co/5Sn4Z7llt1

— Pam McCormick (@dancinmoma) April 5, 2018

I know. It is scary but I try to remind moms to not allow fear to make them too reactive - I know I get in a panic and react and need to remember to be proactive and talk about the dangers. #30Seconds

— momsoftweensandteens (@sheryl_gould) April 5, 2018

Be sure to follow @sheryl_gould, visit MomsOfTweensAndTeens.com, check out Sheryl's Facebook page and read her 30Seconds tips.